Pilot Episode

The day started as usual for @VariantVal. Wake up at noon, lie in bed for 2 hours planning her make up strategy. Determined to find just the right outfit to go with her new purple eye shadow. Suddenly.... she hears her ring tone blaring "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me, don't ya". @VariantVal looks at the clock 1:30pm , "who could possibly be calling at this unGodly hour??? " she moans as she reaches for her cell phone on the bedside table, admiring the new hot pink, sparkly add-ons. "Hello?" silence... eyebrows furrowed, she looks at the face of her cell to make sure there is a connection. "hmmmm, unknown caller". "Hello???... If any one's there you could at the very least do some heavy breathing to make this interesting".


"Don't go to South Florida in November" a stressed voice whispers into her ear. "Huh??" @VariantVal replies. Someone clears their throat on the other end of the line "Don't go to South Florida I said, are you deaf??" @VariantVal smiles, "Oh hey @Taby74, how's trix?" ~~"Trix are not so lovely here lately, sweetcakes. I've saved more puppies than I can count, but I am tired of this venture alone" @VariantVal starts her morning ritual of rubbing glittered body lotion on her legs "Oh @Taby74, I'm so sorry to hear this. I know someone will come along soon and want to save puppies with you. What's up with the whole "don't go to Florida bit??""


@Taby74 straightens her silk stockings and says " I just don't trust that @oceanchick99. There's something just not right with that girl. You're planning on going diving with her, do you think that's really a smart thing to do?" ~~"Well what can possibly go wrong?? I've been so excited about doing this. I bought a new tank and had it bedazzled to match my new bikini AND I found a hot pink regulator to go with it. I think I should have my weight belt painted though"


@Taby74: "oooOOoo a girl's gotta be coordinated right?? Anyway, I wanted to call because I think it's a trap. I overheard @TheWritersDen talking to @JosephLane saying something like "that @VariantVal just can't seem to make her mind up and this is driving me nuts. I've already offered up 13 cows and 4 goats, can she really be worth that much?? " @JosephLane said " I hear you bro, but she really is cute and fun. If I had more cows I'd put in too. You know this crusade against PETA has been taking up all my time, so much so that I can barely even take a moment to redecorate my house!! But you know, she's going to South Florida in November with @oceanchick99 to dive, if something happened to her, man, you'd save yourself a lot of cows."

@Taby74 applies her new sexpot red lipstick "Just thought you should know"


"Thanks for telling me that @Taby74. But I still don't see the connection, besides
@oceanchick99 is my friend........ She was the one who told me I should bedazzle my tank so it would be all shiny and that it would help keep the sharks and barracuda away. She really is a sweetheart, I need to go now I told @TheJohnMorrison I would call him to make plans for tonight"


@Taby74 sighs "You're still hung up on that dude?? He only wants one thing from you and doesn't treat you very well either. He doesn't deserve you!! You need to dump him. You would be much better off with @Ndege"


@VariantVal still smoothing on glitter lotion says " I know, but @TheJohnMorrison is the sparkliest thing I have. Anyways @Ndege hasn't even offered up any cows, nothing!! He doesn't want me. Oh man it's already 2:00 I have to get the kids breakfast!! See ya @Taby74"


What is up with @oceanchick99 ... does @JosephLane know something about her?? Will he ever get his house redecorated? And why is he so against PETA?? Will @TheWritersDen cough up the cows to win the love of his life?? or have her knocked off so he can keep them? Why doesn't @Ndege want @VariantVal?? What's he holding back on?? Will @Taby74 find the man of her dreams to help her save puppies? and why, oh why is she so suspicious of @oceanchick99??

Stay tuned........