Saturday, October 24, 2009

A Police Farce

In the last episode, @VariantVal is arrested at the funeral home for @TheJohnMorrison's murder... everyone is gathered around confused and wondering what to do.

@Ndege pulls his cell phone out of who knows where, because there are no pockets on a kioki and immediately calls @VariantVal's attorney. His face grows very serious as he listens, eyebrows furrow in deep thought. Before he gets off the phone he glances down the road in the direction the police cruiser went. He turns towards the crowd and says " Did you people not know you have no police force in this town?? "

@oceanchick gasps and brings her hand to her mouth "Oh my God, this can't be?? then who was that man?? And where is he taking @VariantVal?? Does anyone have any chocolate?? I seriously need some chocholate!!" She sits down on the bench in front of the funeral parlor door, head in hands and weeps.

@BlokesLib walks over to where @oceanchick99 is and offers his TimTams and sit's next to her, popping one in his mouth as well. " Bloody hell, what just happened??"

@NatashaHollerup, leaning on the wall next to the bench glances at @BlokesLib and says, "What the hell do you think happened??? @VariantVal just got snatched right under our noses. She's gone!! I'd like a TimTam too please."

Brakes screech to a halt in the driveway. Everyone turns to see what the commotion is. @Taby74 raises the door on her sexpot red Ferarri and climbs over the console into the passenger seat and hollers to @Ndege "Well doll, are you just going to stand there or are we going to go after her??"

@JosephLane walks briskly to the car , " I have mad skillz when it comes to driving, I'll take the wheel. " Glancing at @Taby74 with a smirk on his face he says "Besides I've always wanted to drive your umm car." @JosephLane slides into the drivers seat grinning ear to ear as he glances at the dash with all it lights and blinky things.

@Ndege rolls his eyes at @JosephLane " You always gotta be the hero, and how do you know that you can drive better than I can?" @JosephLane responds " Dude, if this were an elephant, or a camel, hell, even a giraffe I'd totally let you drive. You live in the jungle, man. How many Ferarris have you driven??"

As @Ndege opens his mouth to protest @Taby74 cuts in, "Dollface, everyone knows about you and @VariantVal, I know you want to rush in to be her hero, but maybe @JosephLane is the best man for the job. Didn't you see that video of him getting away from PETA last week?? The man does have mad driving skillz." Giving @JosephLane a sly look she says " And you better not scratch my baby, or you'll have to pay."

@ggSpirit makes her way across the street hollering loudly and pushing a stroller " Are you guys just going to sit around fighting over who is going to drive or is someone going to take some action and save @VariantVal??"

@Ndege raises his eyebrows and notices the Mercedes sport coupe parked to his right. He grabs the handle and the door opens. "And look, some idiot left the keys in the ignition." He hops in and cranks the engine, thinking, I'm more of a Mercedes man anyways. At that he puts the car in gear, steers around the Ferrari and guns the engine hoping to follow the trail of the cruiser. Glancing in the rearview mirror he sees the Ferarri following behind.

The two sports cars race down the road at dangerous speeds, but will it be enough??

Several miles away, @VariantVal begins to ponder her circumstances. It dawns on her that Twitterville does not have any police and she has no idea where this ride is going to end. She looks to the front of the car and notices the man behind the wheel leering at her through the rearview mirror. " So, lemme guess, you aren't really a cop." @badwebsites laughs at her, which really ticks her off "Gee how'd you ever figure that one out??" @VariantVal shoots him a look in the mirror that blatantly says, asshole. " You know there will be people looking for me. You won't get too far. " @badwebsites laughs again " I don't need to go far precious and when you are finally found, they'll be burrying you along with @TheJohnMorrison's sparkly fancy pants. Before I kill you though, you and I are going to have a little fun. I really would have preferred you in pink, but the black will have to do. Then again, it all will come down to pink, won't it??" @VariantVal keeps her mouth shut, and tries to think of a way to escape. She stares out the window as a tears trickle down her cheeks, thank God for waterproof. She starts trying to pick herself up, because she will not be defeated, not this way.

@VariantVal's mind drifts off as she begins to think : Well hun, you could be in a worse predicament. He could have really been a cop and took you to the women's lock up. There you would be, dressed all pretty, surrounded by a bunch of butch lesbians. Then again you could probably convince them to leave you be. You do have your lipstick afterall.

A smile spreads across @VariantVal's face as she thinks about the lipsticks in her bag. If only she could get one out without @badwebsites noticing, especially in handcuffs. Turning sideways she reaches for her purse, yes got it!! She opens the flap and feels around, her fingers feeling the shape of everything they touch. Ah ha!! Pulling the lipstick into her hand, she slides the lid off, and winds the color all the way out. Breaking the color of the rod holding it on, she thinks, I'm so sorry little lipstick, but I need you for something else right now. With all the color removed, she turns the rod left sticking out of the container to the handcuffs. She unlocks first one side, then the other, a party trick she learned a long time ago.

Just as she was about to reach across the seat and grab @badwebsites in a choke hold, a black Mercesdes pulls up beside the cop car. The tint on the windows is too dark to see who is driving. The Mercedes rams the cop car, @badwebsites shouts "What the hell??" . @VariantVal is tossed against the door of the car, banging her head on the glass. She says to @badwebsites, " I warned you, you psycho!! This is it!! Do you want to kiss me goodbye now??"

The car is rammed again, this time sending it off the road, down an embankment and into a shallow pond. @badwebsites throws open his door at the same time as @VariantVal as she scrambles to get away. He grabs her by her blonde locks and jerks her back, pulling out a knife and holding it to her throat. She glances up the embankment and sees the Mercedes skid to a stop and is filled with joy when she sees @Ndege standing at the top, gun in hand. @badwebsites notices the gun as well and throws @VariantVal into the muddy pond and takes off running. As he scurries away he yells to her " This is not over precious. You and I will play."

@VariantVal gets up on her knees looking at her ruined clothes, covered in mud, and soaking wet. @Ndege makes his way down the embankment towards her as the Ferarri pulls to a stop on the road. @Taby74 and @JosephLane jump out of the car and call down " Is she alright??? Where did @badwebsites go??"

@Ndege reaches @VariantVal as she is trying to stand up. He grabs a hold of her hand to help her as she looks up at him, bright blue eyes standing out on a muddy face. @Ndege removes his jacket and places it over her shoulders wrapping his arm around her. "Come on" he says "Let's get out of here."

On the road @Taby74 waits for @Ndege and @VariantVal, anxious, knowing @VariantVal is going to be pissed her new shoes are ruined. When they reach the top @Taby74 looks @VariantVal over " Damn Honey, you look like you've been chasing pigs. Not really a good look on you. " @VariantVal replies, " Please, this is just like a spa day. Mud's good for the skin."

@Ndege puts @VariantVal into the Mercedes and climbs into the driver's side. "Thank you for coming after me. I'm grateful. I do have to ask one question though." @Ndege smiles at @VariantVal, "You didn't think I would let that man take you did you?? And you're welcome. You also know you can ask me anything." @VariantVal forces herself to look at @Ndege even though she doesn't want him to see her looking like this " Where'd the gun come from??? Is your kioki magic or something??? Where do you keep everything??" @Ndege puts the car in gear laughing "That's more than one question, love." @VariantVal gives @Ndege an oh no you did not just go there look "Seriously, where do you keep everything?? Wallet, keys, cell phone, and umm" a quizzical expression crosses her muddy face, " and umm your gun??" @Ndege just grins at her "let's go home."

Who is @badwebsites??? Why did he take @VariantVal?? What will happen now that everyone knows @ggSpirit is back??? Did @oceanchick99 and @BlokesLib make a connection over TimTams??? How will @_peanut_ react?? Where did @Taby74 and @JosephLane go after the rescue??? And where the heck does @Ndege keep his things????


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